Ustalık gerektiren kafaya takmama sanatı mark manson

In fact, my best friend had the below picture as my contact photo in his phone for years.

So it should come as no surprise that I, like many, was drawn to this book, 1) Because it has the word "fuck" in the title. Duh. And, 2) Because it's bright fucking orange.

That said, the chum was in the water for me already based on that alone.

But when I got to this:

I knew this book and I would be friends.

I am SO anti-participation trophy it's ridiculous.
And, no, I don't care if that offends all the middle class helicopter moms and their special snowflakes.
Your kid needs to learn how to lose.
That's how character is built, my friends.

And that's pretty much one of the major points in this book actually.
That and, simply put, prioritizing where you put your emotional energy aka your fucks.
Stuff I have a solid a handle on already.

But, full transparency, I read this out of curiosity and with a slim to none expectation of there being anything life changing to take away from it.

Don't get me wrong, color me surprised, I thought this book made a lot of solid points.
Some really good, well articulated ones actually.

I definitely do think this book has something to offer.
For example, it reminded me that I need to stop hoping my sister and I form a BFF Sweet Valley High-esque sister friendship and accept the fact that we are 35+ fucking years old and it's just not gonna happen.
And that's okay. She only texts me when she wants or needs something and, while we love and respect each other - we just aren't all THAT.

And that's okay.

As I said, it made good points - none of which the author attempted to claim creating - he just wrote it down in an easy, witty, sometimes offensive and conversational fashion with examples of his own life and personal epiphanies.

It did get a little ridiculous sometimes with how much he referred to his former "bangs all the ladies" behavior.
We get it, you are a walking dream machine. *eye roll*
It also contradicted itself a bit in some areas, though nothing detrimental in my eyes.

He also definitely walked a fine line when discussing certain issues as they pertain to women.
Feminists and just some women in general will NOT appreciate this book.

Not gonna lie though, right or wrong, this book definitely appealed to my snarky, crass kind of humor, reminding me once again that I apparently have the personality and sense of humor of a dude.

But whatevers.

That's not a fuck I care to give, apparently.

I would suggest Why Buddhism is True and The Practicing Stoic instead as much better books to read that cover the same ground more in depth, without any of the negatives.

Where to begin?

Well for starters, Mark Manson is a real douche. There has never been a better husband than Mark Manson. Why? He doesn't put up with bullshit. If his wife looks like shit he tells her. He won't tolerate her looking bad no matter how much time she has spent getting ready to go out.

And we must take note of how edgy Manson is. He actually figured out you can remove the word care and replace it with fuck. WOW! How profound! What he really means in the quote above is caring too much is bad for you.

Oh, let's not forget how he loves to give added emphasis to things. When talking about music, it's not enough to reference The Beatles, they are the The GODDAMN Beatles.

What Manson has done here is dust off some older self-help philosophies, replace as many words as possible with FUCK and tried to make it look shiny, new and innovative. It's not.

Manson proudly announces he cuts through the crap! But alas, he does not. What Manson really does is steal some ideas from Buddhism and works hard to make himself look like a wise philosopher, and old soul.

There are only so many things we can care about so we need to figure out which ones really matter ~~ sorry ~~ There are only so many things we can give a fuck about so we need to figure out which ones really matter.

Or how about this gem: "While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience." Wow! While Manson pats himself on the back for this gem, I can't help but think of Emerson, “Its the not the Destination, It's the journey.” Thankfully, Manson brilliantly improves on Emerson and makes himself so much more profound in this generation-defining self-help guide.

Most of Manson's observations make me roll my eyes, or at times, laugh out loud. How did we survive as a society without Mark Manson?

Manson has a new book coming out in May. Maybe I'll read it, but probably not, because honestly, I just don't give a fuck ...

There weren't any 1 or 2-star rated books on my GR shelves until now. If I find a book is not working out the way I had hoped, I stay away from it, and will not invest any more time. This is the first book to contradict this practice. Based on the hype, I was looking forward to enjoying this book for a very long time. When I finally started, I quickly got the impression that this is not for me. But even with getting do-not-continue warning signs right from the start, I proceeded till the end, hoping something will change my opinion. Well, if I had received any help from this book, that would be with 'not giving a f*ck' about this book, and move on. I even feel like I'm being generous giving 2-stars instead of one, but that's only for the interesting example stories author presented (only the stories, not the author's opinions) and for the obvious difficulties of life that we all already know.

"Rejections that were painful in the moment have actually worked out for the best."
"If you're able to not give a f*ck about the pain, you become unstoppable."

Starting from the first chapter, I had the vague feeling that I had dived into a Gladwell 'self-help' book. The obvious (and simple) truths about life and circumstances are presented in a very amusing manner, sandwiched between what I felt to be inexperienced conjecture of the author. True, there were a few good parts, and I would even categorized them as helpful, but it felt those truths had been taken out of context to suit to the author's own views. Initially, I had the impression, may be the book is moving along the lines of the art of letting go, but that also stopped very quickly. According to the author, there's a line separating what's worth or not giving attention to, and our principles are only valid based on which side of the line we're at. Even the almost annoying number of 'f*cks' diminished after a few chapters, to proceed along what felt like a very long rant.

"Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a f*ck about what's truly f*ckworthy."
"Self-improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn't necessarily mean they're the same things."

I'm a Buddhist, and would like to consider myself at least somewhat familiar with Buddhism. As the enlightenment is accepted to be related to letting go of the worldly pleasures according to Buddhism, Manson takes this as an example to justify his opinions. Then, he goes and creates a line, which he thinks is from where the letting-go should be applied to. It's not that the content are false, but everything's completely taken out of the original context, and I'm failing to see how any of this is supposed to be 'helpful'. One could certainly empathize with everything stated here, and agree to most of it, but that's pretty much it: I couldn't find the self-help part (if there was any). If the book's intention was to make one immune (or resistant) to the difficulties the society put in one's way (as the name implies), at least for me, it failed spectacularly. After the first few chapters, it often felt like the author contradicting himself with what followed.

"Happiness is not a solvable equation. Dissatisfaction and unease are inherent parts of human nature."
"The greatest truths in life are usually the most unpleasant to hear."

Just like with a Gladwell book, I think one should read this book carefully, especially if the reader is new to self-help/ philosophy genres. If you're already familiar with some good/ logical philosophy books, chances are, you'll take everything in this with a grain of salt, and only extract what's helpful. However, when a non-fiction book gets this much popularity, this could even become the very first self-help book one reads. And that's a dangerous thing, to start along with a system that accepts 'expecting the negative to happen to be a positive thing'. As the experiences/ examples presented are clear, and very easy to relate to, it's easy to get completely lost in a philosophy like this. I still decided to share some (obvious) wisdom quotes, but I hope you won't be tempted to read this one because of them. On the contrary, I'm only reviewing this one to warn any future readers, especially if you're new to self-help or non-fiction books.

"People who base their self-worth on being right about everything prevent themselves from their mistakes."

Since I don't read self-help, you may be asking "Erin, Why did you read this book?
Blame Popsugar. I'm doing the Popsugar 2017 Reading challenge and needed to read a book from a genre I don't usually read. As you can see if you look at my book shelf I pretty much read every genre. So I narrowed it down to 3 genres: Self-help, Christian, or Amish Romance. I picked Self-help.

Mark Manson is proof that anyone can get a book deal. I understand that he has a very popular blog and publishing is about money but God this book is bad. I found myself speed reading it just so it would end. Mark Manson is shallow, smug, and completely uninformed about everything that he was trying to talk about. You know what I don't give a fuck about? This book. DON'T READ IT. AVOID AT ALL COST!

Popsugar 2017 Reading Challenge: Bestseller from a Genre I Don't Normally Read.

Makes sense.

Unfortunately, the rest of the book turns into the same self-help drivel you see in any other "how to be happy" kind of book, only Manson starts to present the information with a tone reminiscent of an Andrew Dice Clay routine. No bueno. I ended up having to bail.

I wanted to see what all the hype was about, so I picked this up. And now that I'm done? Well, I agree with everything Manson says, but (like other reviewers have mentioned) everything he's written about is common sense stuff.
Is that revolutionary?
Maybe.
What does it say about our society in general that any of what he's saying is...well, remotely necessary to say!?
When the basic premise of a bestseller is that you should stop comparing yourself to what you see on television, movies, and social media, and just be content to be the best version of yourself - and scads of people find this to be awe-inspiring?
Then perhaps it really did need to be said.

The gist of this "groundbreaking" book is that there's no way to insulate yourself from bad times, and even if you could, those hardships are what make us better people. One of the biggest problems we seem to have is this nonsensical idea that chasing happiness is a worthwhile goal. I mean, it sounds great on paper, but it's not in any way, shape, or form realisitc...or healthy.
Life will not give you a happy ending. Period. Endings are always sad. And we need to get over this ridiculous idea that at some point we'll get to sigh a big sigh of relief because our fairytale Happily Ever After has arrived.

We can all save ourselves the trouble of trying to find happiness by just realizing that we need to choose to be happy now. Enjoy the small stuff, my friends, because tomorrow might just suck a giant dick.
Your life will be good until it isn't. You'll be in love until you aren't. Your job will be fulfilling until you lose it. You'll be alive until you're dead.
And nothing you do will change that.

Ok, granted, that doesn't sound awesome.
But the point is, if you stop trying to live for some future Happiness High, prioritize what means the most to you now, and live with a fearless attitude towards the future? Then you're going to be much more content (and yes, happy) than someone who is constantly trying to measure up to unrealistic goals they've set in order achieve a sense of fulfillment.
The end.

The book itself is fairly short and Manson's voice isn't terribly annoying.
Read it or not. I don't give a fuck.

Wish I could say I couldn't give a fu#k about spending £10.99 on this serious heap of rubbish, but yes, i do give a fu#k that this ego driven, talentless author swindled me out of money for a heap of rubbish.

He is probably having a great old laugh at the fact that his mantra `dont try` has resulted in an awful written book, full of cliches, calling reader `dumbass`, referring to us wanting to feel jennifer aniston`s t#ts , and bigging himself up generally. He probably finds it hilarious that a load of suckers, like me , bought it.

The zen in me tells me lesson is learned, don't fall for arresting titles and stop being impressed by introductory chapters referencing Bukowski. Don't make this mistake again!!!

Ah, the money probably brings him little happiness. He probably in dire need of therapy or funds to hire ladies resembling Friends characters or writing classes. All is well with the world and I am happy these are much needed things my contribution can go toward.

All's ok now. Don't give a fu#k.

It made me rethink all the times I ever gave a fuck over some of the most irrelevant things in hindsight. It made me realize that it’s sometimes necessary to take a step back and re-evaluate why I think so-and-so on a daily basis.

I also wrote down a lot of Mark Manson’s writing into my notes because I knew I would need it in the near future. And I would like to thank him for answering quite a lot of fears of mine with such a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck was both personally relevant and entertaining.

Here are a few pieces that helped me and then some:

“The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it’s giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.”

“Because when you give too many fucks—when you give a fuck about everyone and everything—you will feel that you’re perpetually entitled to be comfortable and happy at all times, that everything is supposed to be just exactly the fucking way you want it to be. This is a sickness. And it will eat you alive. You will see every adversity as an injustice, every challenge as a failure, every inconvenience as a personal slight, every disagreement as a betrayal. You will be confined to your own petty, skull-sized hell, burning with entitlement and bluster, running circles around your very own personal Feedback Loop from Hell, in constant motion yet arriving nowhere”

YES! This is exactly how I feel when I give too many fucks about things that have little lasting impact on my life.

“Life is essentially an endless series of problems, Mark,” the panda told me. He sipped his drink and adjusted the little pink umbrella. “The solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one.”
A moment passed, and then I wondered where the fuck the talking panda came from. And while we’re at it, who made these margaritas?
“Don’t hope for a life without problems,” the panda said. “There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.”

Disappointment Panda was one of the best additions to this book.

“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for. People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who run triathlons and have chiseled abs and can bench-press a small house. People who enjoy long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who fly to the top of it. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainties of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it.
This is not about willpower or grit. This is not another admonishment of “no pain, no gain.” This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes. Our problems birth our happiness, along with slightly better, slightly upgraded problems.
See: it’s a never-ending upward spiral. And if you think at any point you’re allowed to stop climbing, I’m afraid you’re missing the point. Because the joy is in the climb itself.”

This book is slowly but surely shifting my world.

“If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.”

“Honesty is a good value because it’s something you have complete control over, it reflects reality, and it benefits others (even if it’s sometimes unpleasant). Popularity, on the other hand, is a bad value. If that’s your value, and if your metric is being the most popular guy/girl at the dance party, much of what happens will be out of your control: you don’t know who else will be at the event, and you probably won’t know who half those people are. Second, the value/metric isn’t based on reality: you may feel popular or unpopular, when in fact you have no fucking clue what anybody else really thinks about you. (Side Note: As a rule, people who are terrified of what others think about them are actually terrified of all the shitty things they think about themselves being reflected back at them.)”

That side note is speaking the truth!!!

“I’m not saying that this excused what my ex did—not at all. But recognizing my mistakes helped me to realize that I perhaps hadn’t been the innocent victim I’d believed myself to be. That I had a role to play in enabling the shitty relationship to continue for as long as it did. After all, people who date each other tend to have similar values. And if I dated someone with shitty values for that long, what did that say about me and my values? I learned the hard way that if the people in your relationships are selfish and doing hurtful things, it’s likely you are too, you just don’t realize it.”

Taking responsibly for your actions, but not blaming yourself was one of the most valuable lessons I got from Mark Manson.

“A lot of people might hear all of this and then say something like, “Okay, but how? I get that my values suck and that I avoid responsibility for all of my problems and that I’m an entitled little shit who thinks the world should revolve around me and every inconvenience I experience—but how do I change?”
And to this I say, in my best Yoda impersonation: “Do, or do not; there is no ‘how.’ ”
You are already choosing, in every moment of every day, what to give a fuck about, so change is as simple as choosing to give a fuck about something else.
It really is that simple. It’s just not easy.
It’s not easy because you’re going to feel like a loser, a fraud, a dumbass at first. You’re going to be nervous. You’re going to freak out. You may get pissed off at your wife or your friends or your father in the process. These are all side effects of changing your values, of changing the fucks you’re giving. But they are inevitable.
It’s simple but really, really hard.”

“Growth is an endlessly iterative process. When we learn something new, we don’t go from “wrong” to “right.” Rather, we go from wrong to slightly less wrong. And when we learn something additional, we go from slightly less wrong to slightly less wrong than that, and then to even less wrong than that, and so on. We are always in the process of approaching truth and perfection without actually ever reaching truth or perfection.”

He’s changing my world right now.

“We all have values for ourselves. We protect these values. We try to live up to them and we justify them and maintain them. Even if we don’t mean to, that’s how our brain is wired. As noted before, we’re unfairly biased toward what we already know, what we believe to be certain. If I believe I’m a nice guy, I’ll avoid situations that could potentially contradict that belief. If I believe I’m an awesome cook, I’ll seek out opportunities to prove that to myself over and over again. The belief always takes precedence. Until we change how we view ourselves, what we believe we are and are not, we cannot overcome our avoidance and anxiety. We cannot change.
In this way, “knowing yourself” or “finding yourself” can be dangerous. It can cement you into a strict role and saddle you with unnecessary expectations. It can close you off to inner potential and outer opportunities.
I say don’t find yourself. I say never know who you are. Because that’s what keeps you striving and discovering. And it forces you to remain humble in your judgments and accepting of the differences in others.”

I didn't even realize I felt this way until I saw it so clearly on paper.

“There’s a kind of self-absorption that comes with fear based on an irrational certainty. When you assume that your plane is the one that’s going to crash, or that your project idea is the stupid one everyone is going to laugh at, or that you’re the one everyone is going to choose to mock or ignore, you’re implicitly telling yourself, “I’m the exception; I’m unlike everybody else; I’m different and special.”
This is narcissism, pure and simple. You feel as though your problems deserve to be treated differently, that your problems have some unique math to them that doesn’t obey the laws of the physical universe.
My recommendation: don’t be special; don’t be unique. Redefine your metrics in mundane and broad ways. Choose to measure yourself not as a rising star or an undiscovered genius. Choose to measure yourself not as some horrible victim or dismal failure. Instead, measure yourself by more mundane identities: a student, a partner, a friend, a creator.”

That thing about the plane is 100% me!! So I get it know: if you think you’re special—decide not to be.

“The desire to avoid rejection at all costs, to avoid confrontation and conflict, the desire to attempt to accept everything equally and to make everything cohere and harmonize, is a deep and subtle form of entitlement. Entitled people, because they feel as though they deserve to feel great all the time, avoid rejecting anything because doing so might make them or someone else feel bad. And because they refuse to reject anything, they live a valueless, pleasure-driven, and self-absorbed life. All they give a fuck about is sustaining the high a little bit longer, to avoid the inevitable failures of their life, to pretend the suffering away.”

“If you make a sacrifice for someone you care about, it needs to be because you want to, not because you feel obligated or because you fear the consequences of not doing so. If your partner is going to make a sacrifice for you, it needs to because he or she genuinely wants to, not because you’ve manipulated the sacrifice through anger or guilt. Acts of love are valid only if they’re performed without conditions or expectations.”

4.5/5 stars

*Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!*

This review and more can be found on my blog.

Psychological snake oil for the pseudo intellectual.

Man, reading this book was so frustrating, because I'd heard so many good things. Some people told me that this book was life-changing, game-changing, and then one of my co-workers gave it to me and I thought, "Cool, bring it on. I'm ready to hand out fuck-wafers like it's time for the Sunday Communion of Nobody-Gives-A-Damn." After reading this book, I've come to the conclusion that the people who like this book haven't taken any psychology classes or read any philosophy books, because this is like the watered-down, urban legend- and common sense-based rehashing of basic tenets you would learn in Phi or Psych 101.

Mark Manson seems to me like a dudebro, tossing around the word "fuck" like a preteen who's just discovered swearing. But only for the first couple chapters. Then he forgets himself to his navel-gazing, talking about how we should change our values in life and how emotions only affect us insofar as we let them. Which is true, to an extent, but then he brings up how someone who had lost their son prematurely got mad at him on his blog, and Manson gets so upset about it that he feels the need to whine about his experience here, bragging to us about how he decided not to have the last word. But isn't that what you're doing here? You are giving a fuck, and you are immortalizing that fuck you gave in print, while telling us simultaneously that you did not give it. Hmm, sketchy.

He also talks about his trip to Russia and praises the Russians for not sugar-coating and telling it like it is, the takeaway being that he admired them for saying "That's stupid," when someone says something stupid. Then he brags about how he likes to tell his wife when she doesn't look good, and how much she appreciates this gaslighting, and how few men would dare to do this amazing thing that he is doing (telling her she looks like shit, according to him). She gets angry, he says, but ultimately she appreciates his honesty. Yeah, I fucking bet. This was straight out of those gross pick-up artist books that teach generations of young males how to neg women to win sex points. #NotAllMen

Manson had a couple good points, but they were buried in a lot of garbage. For example, in a chapter about relationships, he opens up with the synopsis of Romeo and Juliet as a cautionary example, but then he also tries to namedrop actual science like Philip Zimbardo's Stanford Prison Experiments, and then also namedrops the Buddha when talking about suffering and the inevitability of pain and strife. I am a psychology major who worked in a research laboratory as an undergraduate and I like hard science with data and solid case examples. When I see an article that looks fishy, I look up the facts to determine whether or not it is true. I read scholarly articles. I don't fuck with bullshit. I would rather give a fuck than fuck with bullshit, if you get me. This book did not have facts. It had a lot of opinions masquerading with facts, but honestly, if I want someone to preach dime-store philosophy at me, I'll go to a bar in downtown San Francisco and listen to the vodka fume revelations of CFOs.

2 fucks given

There is a distinction between what the title implies and what Manson intends. Manson is essentially inviting us to only care about what’s important and let the rest take care of itself.

I’ve been accused of indifference or “living in a bubble” for years because I don’t follow politics and rarely watch the news. My mantra is the serenity prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference.

My Muslim friends will sometimes say “Inshallah” which literally translates into “if Allah wills it” or “If God wills it”. When I first heard this, I mistakenly thought it was akin to “screw it” or “I don’t care” but I think this is more similar to the serenity prayer and also what Manson is talking about.

I learned years ago that I cannot help or fix everything and to even try is unfair to me, the people I most care about and ultimately the people I am trying to help also. Spread yourself too thin, care too much, give a f*** about stuff that is beyond your reach, and you’re setting yourself up for failure.

Manson steers clear of religion for the most part (he does reference Buddhism a few times) and most of his self-help is philosophical in nature. He also provides plenty of illuminating anecdotes to illustrate his perspicacious observations. This also made me consider Aaron James’ 2012 book Assholes: A Theory as Manson spends a fair amount of time describing the actions and motivations of those among us who feel entitled.

A fun and insightful book.

** 2018 - Great book to think back on and its simple truths. I do give a f***, but I can't fix everything and I accept that. Ultimately its about boundaries and priorities.

It's not about not giving a f*ck about anything, it's about giving a f*ck about the things that matter most. In essence, the question is, should I really give a f*ck?

This is sort of an anti-hero self-help book, something you should read (or hear) if you feel the world weighing up a little bit too much. It just unburdens you of some stuff. No real groundbreaking philosophy, just a couple of useful hints and insights on how to take things more lightly, when taking them seriously is hurting you.

Chapters 1 and 2 were pure magic. The kind of magic that wouldn't be too bad to hear once or twice a year. If not for the hints, for the laughs. There are also some interesting comments on chapter 8, and some anecdotes here and there. The rest of the book was kind of meh. Funny meh, sure, but typical self-help textbook lines that tires a bit, if not a lot.

Couldn't be happier to have chosen audio rather than ebook. Cursing can seem very aggressive when reading it on text, but hearing it through the voice of the narrator it became so much easier, and funnier.

Tips: Don't take it too seriously, develop a tolerance to hear the word f*ck once too many often, and just enjoy the ride.

-----------------------------------------------

No es sobre que nada te importe un c*rajo. Es sobre que te importe un c*rajo sólo las cosas importantes. En esencia, la pregunta es, debería realmente importame un c*rajo?

Este es como el anti-heroe de los libros de autoayuda. Algo que uno debería leer (o escuchar) si empezás a sentír que el mundo te pesa mucho sobre los hombros. Sólo te libera de algunas cosas. No tiene ninguna filosofía innovadora, sólo un par de consejos y observaciones sobre cómo tomar las cosas más ligeramente, cuando tomártelas en serio te hace daño.

Los capítulos 1 y 2 fueron pura magia. Ese tipo de magia que no viene mal escucharla una o dos veces al año. Sino por los consejos, por las risas. Tiene también algunos comentarios interesantes en el capítulo 8, y alguna que otra anéctoda aquí y allá. El resto del libro es medio meh, meh gracioso sí, pero típica retórica de autoayuda que cansa un poco, sino mucho.

No podría estar más feliz de haberlo escuchado en vez de leerlo. Las puteadas pueden sonar muy agresivas cuando uno las lee en texto, pero escucharlas a través de la voz del narrador hace que sea mucho más ameno, y gracioso.

Consejos: No tomarlo muy en serio, desarrollar una tolerancia a escuchar puteadas algo más que seguido, y sólo disfrutar el viaje.

I don’t normally read self-help books – the problem I have with them is the first word, more than the second. We generally all need some sort of help, but that rarely is helped much by any notion of ‘self’. Ultimately, this guy says much the same thing, which rather surprised me, but shouldn’t have – I’ve already mentioned Buddhism, which has a particularly low opinion of selfhood. But we are so obsessed with being individuals in our society that he probably didn’t feel he could just come out and say from the start – well, get over yourself, fuck face.

His advice is basically that you only have so many fucks you can give in life – but life tries to structure itself so that we are in a near perpetual state of outrage. And that way heart attacks lie. His advice isn’t to stop caring, that would be impossible, but to try to decide what you are going to care about and, well, do something about that. In some ways this isn’t too different from something I read by Byung-Chul Han recently – that outrage never changed the world, only rage can. So, pick what you are going to be enraged about and skip the outrage.

This isn’t a terrible book, in fact, most of the advice is quite reasonable. All the same, I feel most of the problems we face as humans are to do with the fact we are social animals and our lives are becoming increasingly insular – not least due to various forms of technology – and this is making us feel pretty awful about ourselves. We need to find ways to rebuild communities and meaningful human interactions. And we’ve known this for ages – have a quick read of Durkheim’s Suicide and his explanation of why Catholics and Jews have lower rates of suicide than Protestants. Our obsession with being individuals is literally killing us.

The fact this guy bases much of his advice on psychology, to me anyway, is part of the problem – I figure it involves him looking intently down the wrong end of the telescope – but all the same, this is a quick and easy read and parts of it are amusing.

💀 DNF at 29%

Unbelievably improbable as it sounds, my best friend Kara Gillian has nothing on this guy here. And that, my Little Barnacles, is saying a whole bloody fucking lot.

P.S. I'm so joyfully, blissfully happy I DNFed the

Oh, and by the way:

(view spoiler)[You're welcome. (hide spoiler)]

This book wasn't only about giving no fucks, it was about giving fucks about only the important things. If you're going to read it, I would recommend the audio book. I thought the narration was great and it was highly entertaining and made me laugh out loud more than once!!

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck was published under the imprint of HarperOne, a division of HarperCollins Publishers, and was released on September 13, 2016. The book is a reaction to the self-help industry and what Manson saw as a culture of mindless positivity that isn't practical or helpful for most people.

Manson uses many of his own personal experiences to illustrate how life's struggles often give it more meaning, which, he argues, is a better approach than constantly trying to be happy. Manson's approach and writing style have been categorized by some as contrarian to the general self-help industry, using blunt honesty and profanity to illustrate his ideas.

The book has 9 chapters with the following titles:
1. Don't Try,
2. Happiness is a problem,
3. You are not special,
4. The value of suffering,
5. You are always choosing,
6. You are wrong about everything (But so am I),
7. Failure is the way forward,
8. The importance of saying no,
and 9. And then you die.

عنوانهای چاپ شده در ایران: «هنر ظریف بی‌خیالی»؛ «هنر ظریف رهایی از دغدغه ها»؛ و ...؛ نویسنده: مارک مانسون؛ تاریخ نخستین خوانش: روز پنجم ماه نوامبر سال2018میلادی

عنوان: هنر ظریف بی‌خیالی؛ نویسنده: مارک مانسون؛ مترجم: پرستو عوض‌زاده؛ تهران سلسله مهر‏‫، سال‏‫‬‏1396؛ در227ص؛ شابک9786005260748؛ موضوع: راه و رسم زندگی از نویسندگان ایالات متحده آمریکا - سده21م

عنوان: هنر ظریف رهایی از دغدغه ها؛ نویسنده: مارک مانسون؛ مترجم: میلاد بشیری؛ تهران انتشارات میلکان‏‫، سال1396؛ در224ص؛ شابک9786008812616؛ چاپ نود و هشتم سال1400؛

و ترجمه های بسیار دیگر از خانمها و آقایان: فهیمه فتحی؛ الهام شریف؛ بهجت نجفی؛ محمدصادق زمانی‮‬؛ محمدرسول نصرتی؛ مهدی مرادی؛ فاطمه بلدی، محمد خلعتبری؛ نريمان افشاری؛ سوسن اسدی؛ فاطمه عابدی، مژگان طالب‌زاده؛ پرستو عوض‌زاده؛ علیرضا درستیان؛ فرشته ناصری‌ملکی و اکبر فرخ‌زاد؛ نازیلا مکاری؛ پیمان اصلانی؛ ژیلا باقری؛ فریبا بردبار؛ فرزام حبیبی‌اصفهانی؛ حمید غلامی؛ زهره شيشه‌چی؛ عباس فتاح‌الجنان؛ صدیقه حسینی؛ مریم رزاقی؛ مهدیه شعبانی‌فقفوری؛ محبوبه قاقم‌پوش؛ منیژه شیخ‌جوادی (بهزاد)؛ نازنین نیکوسرشت؛ ناهید نیازیان؛ محمدرضا شیروانی؛ فاطمه غلامی؛ بنیامین رهدار؛ نرگس محمودی؛ علی محمدی‌مطلق؛ شهرزاد رحیمى؛ زینب انسان‌؛ محمدرضا شیروانی؛ زهرا آلوشی؛ رشید جعفرپور؛ واحد ترجمه انتشارات کلید آموزش؛ رقیه فیروزی؛ زهره مستی؛ منصوره خمکده؛ فرشاد قدیری؛ آرزو یوسفی؛ میلاد بشیری؛ محبوبه سلیمانی‌درچه؛ مینا امیری؛ محمدهادی آقاجانی؛ و ...؛

هنر ظریف بی‌خیالی، یا «هنر رندانهٔ به * گرفتن» کتابی از نویسنده ی آمریکایی «مارک منسن» است، که نخستین بار در سال 2016میلادی در «آمریکا» منتشر گردید؛ این کتاب راهنمایی است برای رهایی از نگرانی‌های پوچ، و بیخود روزمره ی جهان کنونی، که امروزه گریبان‌گیر بسیاری از انسان‌ها شده‌ است؛ کتاب یادشده، تا ماه ژانویه سال 2019میلادی بیش از سه میلیون نسخه، فروش داشته‌، و در رده ی کتاب‌های پرفروش قرارگرفته است؛ این کتاب به تسکین درد‌ها و رنج‌های شما اهمیتی نمی‌دهد، و دقیقاً برای همین است که صادقانه نوشته شده است

این کتاب، راهنمای شما به سوی بزرگواری نیست؛ زیرا بزرگواری، تنها توهم ذهن ما هست؛ یک مقصد ساختگی، که خود را به دنبال کردن آن متعهد می‌کنیم، اما وجود خارجی ندارد؛ در عوض، این کتاب، رنج‌های شما را به ابزار، دردهای شما را به توانایی، و مشکلات‌تان را به مشکلات کمی بهتر بدل می‌کند؛ این همان پیشرفت راستین‌ ست؛ کتاب را به عنوان یک راهنما برای رنج کشیدن بدانید؛ برای این‌که چگونه اینکار را بهتر، و با مهربانی و فروتنی بیشتر انجام دهید.؛ کتاب درباره‌ ی آرام حرکت کردن، به‌ رغم بارهای سنگینی که بر دوش می‌کشید، و کنار آمدنِ راحت‌تر با ترس‌ها، و خندیدن به اشک‌هایتان است.؛ این کتاب به شما یاد نمی‌دهد که چگونه چیزی را به دست بیاورید، و پیروز شوید؛ بلکه می‌آموزد که چگونه ببازید، و رها کنید.؛ به شما می‌آموزد، که چشم‌های خود را ببندید، و باور داشته باشید، که می‌توانید به پشت بیفتید، و با وجود آن، مشکلی پیش نیاید.؛ به شما می‌آموزد که کمتر اهمیت بدهید، و تلاش نکنید

تاریخ بهنگام رسانی 12/05/1399هجری خورشیدی؛ ا. شربیانی

The Good
🔸 This is one of the first books where the author was bold enough to discuss the toxic positivity spread by self-help books and self-help gurus. It will help those trapped in the vicious cycle of toxic positivity.

🔸 This is different from the usual self-help books, right from the color of its cover and its title. Due to its presentation and content, this book will stand out and catch a glimpse of the reader in any bookstore.

🔸 Some ideas regarding life and future expectations explained by the author will definitely resonate with the readers.

My favorite three lines from this book.

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. ”

“This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes.”

“Don’t just sit there. Do something. The answers will follow.”

The Bad
🔹 Using the f word will be ok to most of the readers. But in the initial few chapters, the reader is bombarded with too many f words in a patronizing manner that the reader will start getting bored when he sees the f word.

🔹 If you are familiar with Zen Buddhism, you will notice that the author is mentioning many Buddhist ideas as his own in a slightly different manner.

🔹 Some of the chapters in the latter half of this book seem to be loosely written.

The Ugly
♦️ This will be the toughest part to read for some of the readers. Sexual abuse can never be considered a joke. The way the author looks at sexual abuse will make the reader angry if you are a victim or knows someone who is a victim or have treated someone who is a victim. This is the area that makes the author and this book look ludicrous.

♦️ The use of “charged language” and a harsh approach to the reader might be acceptable to a certain extent. In some areas, the author crosses the boundary and reaches the bullying territory, especially how he looks at victimhood.

There are so many positives and negatives to this book. Since this is one of the first books that tried to view self-help from a different angle, it will be a good choice for those who want to get a different reading experience.

I don't know how to review this book without typing out the whole book, so I'm going to try something different: to be brief. This book provides support for someone who wants to live in reality, someone who doesn't want to buy into our national capitalist mindset that life is about chasing one high after another. This book encourages you to embrace conflict, to be comfortable feeling uncomfortable, and to be confident in finding out what you truly believe in, then standing up for it. Fuck being likeable. Take responsibility for your own life, stop trying to solve other's problems (a big one for me to work on!), ask questions, and always try to make things better. "Happiness is a struggle."

My one criticism of this book eventually turned into a positive. Around Chapter Six my interest started to wane because Manson provided me with very little I didn't already know. Plus, he shares his own story about entering his adult life at "rock bottom." His life's lowest points: getting caught with marijuana at school, his parents' divorce, not finding a job immediately after college.

My initial reaction was, are you fucking kidding me? If that's rock bottom, my life exists in a subterranean cavern. However, Mark Manson's life is not mine. Everyone's experiences are subjective. And, in a way, I admire him even more because of our differences. He led an easy life compared to mine, but he recognized his own privileges and entitlements and worked toward fixing them. Then, he took his own personal realizations about life and shared them in this book, which in turn helps me and others.

I rarely read a book that makes me want to thank the author, but -- Thanks for this, Mark.

Oh, wow. I loved this.
I really really loved this.
I loved that this was so... freely written. Who cares if there are tons of curses in it?
Everything he says or teaches us is always followed or introduced with a personal or historical story. There are always examples, stories, explanations that are not overly complicated. The whole book was full of honest, true and really interesting stuff.

These were my favorite:
- Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent, it means being comfortable with being different.
- Pain, in all of its forms, is our body’s most effective means of spurring action.
- People who become great at something become great because they understand that they’re not already great - they are mediocre, they are average - and that they could be so much better.
- Self-awareness is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it, and the more you peel them back, the more likely you’re going to start crying at inappropriate times.
- This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, how you value things.
- Until we change how we view ourselves, what we believe we are and are not, we cannot overcome our avoidance and anxiety.
We cannot change.
- If you’re stuck on a problem, don’t sit there and think about it, just start working on it. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, the simple act of working on it will eventually cause the right ideas to show up in your head.
- You too are going to die, and that’s because you too were fortunate enough to have lived.

All in all I’ll just recommend this to all my non-reader friends and to you, my wonderful Goodreads people, because I loved it and I want you to read this too! Happy reading ♥️

He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net